Sunday, February 24

the government is going to make a robot that looks just like me

On Tuesday I went to get a new passport that shows my married name. I chose to go to the local post office because they have not only a passport office, but a little photo area too where they can take your new pictures. So convenient.

As I was waiting my turn, I noticed not one but TWO girls ahead of me who were clearly "dolled up" getting their pictures taken. I had totally overlooked the opportunity to make this a glamour shot, and I didn't even have lip gloss with me! I also realized that I had chosen to pull my newly cut bangs back that morning (darn you, Dollar Cuts for cutting them uneven!), and I had a rebellious sprig of bangs on my forehead that was too short to pull back with the others. Awesome.

The dear old woman working there was very skilled with a digital camera, but I felt like I was up a creek without a paddle when she told me I could smile but just not show my teeth. Cómo? Any good Dunlop knows that if I smile like that, I instantly look like my Grandpa Parker. Not a great look on me. So the lady took one shot, and we decided I needed to try it again. The second shot was slightly better (my hair looked less weird), but I still looked like an elderly man.

As I was completing the rest of the paperwork, I asked her what was up with the no-teeth thing. She said it was a recent change because they were going to start doing bio-imaging on all passport photos. They are going to scan the face in the photo, make a record of the facial features, and then store that info in a chip in the back of each passport. Apparently it's a safety feature to help identify stolen passports.

I'm not thrilled about this new safety feature for 2 reasons: 1. It left me with a homely passport picture, and 2. It gave our government the info they need to make a robot that looks just like me. Soon that robot will be taking my job, stealing my spouse, and wreaking havoc with my life. It will be superior to me because it doesn't need to eat, sleep, or get its bangs cut. I'm not happy.

So if you wake up one morning and find in your garage a robot with your face, remember you read it here first.

*Fun side note: Why do I need an updated passport? Because Doug and I are going to Costa Rica for a week in May! YES!!!

Friday, February 22

Dear Tax Guy

Dear Tax Guy Dressed Up Like the Statue of Liberty on the Street Corner,

Whatever you are getting paid, it is not enough.

J. Shafer

PS- I'm proud of you for not smiling anymore when I pass you on my way home each day. What's the point, right?

Monday, February 18

fully employed

After weeks of job searching, Doug is now fully employed. Giddy up! He's working as a Physical Therapy assistant and loving it. He's even been given a lot of compliments already by the patients--that's my boy!

Today was the start of his first full week there, so I made him take a "first day of work" picture this morning. I took 2 pictures, and both times I had to say in my meanest mom voice "SMILE" because he was only giving me a closed mouth courtesy smile. So forgive his sleepy fake smile here--he has an obnoxious wife.

And just so you know, he got turned down for a job he really wanted a few weeks ago. They sent him a letter to do so (who does that anymore?), so we felt it was appropriate to set it on fire. Which we did. In our kitchen sink. Using the blow torch from one of his classes last semester.

Please note the determined look of satisfaction in his face. Don't mess with us Shafers.*

*I sure hope these pictures don't turn up in court one day for one reason or another. We're not pyros, we just like to burn evidence of rejection.

Saturday, February 16


It's been a year, buddy, and we still miss you like crazy.

You can learn more about supporting research of CDH, the defect Jake was born with, at my sister Jenn's blog. Wear turquoise on March 31 to support the cause!

Friday, February 15


So my dear friend Alicia tagged me weeks ago, and I'm now catching up and responding (I just can't resist a good tag). My apologies go to Alicia, who pointed out that her mom even responded to the tag before I did. Eesh.

A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B: Each player answers the questions about themselves.
C: At the end of the post, the player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

10 years ago: I was a sophomore at CB East High School (Go Patriots!!). I was without a driver's license and starting to date legally. I was working at Postmasters (like unto a Mailboxes Etc.) and hating it. I was playing volleyball practically year round and assuming I was the bomb dot com.

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. It's my comp day after 11 straight days of work, so you better believe my to-do list is weak.
2. Meet Doug for lunch.
3. Eat Valentine's candy (well, I had it for breakfast, so I guess the goal is to just eat more).
4. Finish the laundry.
5. Maybe go shopping. Or nap. Something along the lines of not working.

Snacks I enjoy:
1. Apples y Peanut Butter
2. Cool Ranch Doritos dipped in cottage cheese (don't knock it 'til you try it)
3. Chocolate-covered Cinnabears. Mmmm boy!
4. Cereal
5. Chocolate milk

What I would do if I were suddenly made a billionaire: Lest you think I'm lame, I'd pay off debts and mortgages of dear friends and family. And then I'd go on a freaking sweet shopping trip. It's okay, I'm a billionaire--I can do that.

5 places I have lived:
1. San Fernando, CA
2. Sandy, UT
3. Lithonia, GA
4. Doylestown, PA
5. Hillsboro, OR

5 jobs that I have had:
1. Postmasters clerk/slave (see 10 years ago)
2. Secretary at the BYU Preschool
3. Freelance editor for Paper Crafts magazine
4. Data entry person at Wyeth Pharmaceuticals
5. Communications Specialist at Provo Craft (what a dorky title...)

5 things people don't know about me:
1. I used to throw up on the first day of school every year. This even happened once in college. Shut up.
2. Whenever I speak to someone from the South, I automatically start speaking in a Southern accent too. And it's way hard to stop once I start.
3. I used to be naturally blonde. I had way more fun in those days...
4. I once called one of my missionaries in a MTC district I was teaching "Mr. Arrogant Pants." I was super annoyed with him, and apparently that was the best thing I could come up with at the time. I've since repented.
5. I wore a corset on my wedding day. The dressmaker said everyone that wears her dresses has to, and I didn't feel like I could fight it.

Okay...I tag 1. Sarah 2. Jenn 3. Whit*

*Tags were randomly selected. I saved you blood, sweat, and tears if I didn't mention you, trust me. :)

travel mania

We've been MIA.

I spent a week down in Anaheim, CA at a trade show for work. Think of sweat shops of the past, add just a few more civil rights, and there you have my week--lots and lots o' work.

Doug spent the week in WA interviewing at the University of WA and playing with his fam. His interview went well and he loved the bonus Shafer time.

I now recommit myself to the blog. Done and done.

Monday, February 4

A Day to Remember

Here is a video for all of you to enjoy. Many of you have already seen this, but some of you have not. I have told a few of you that I would email it to you, but alas, I find this a better way to share it. I don't like forwards.
This is an event that happened two years ago when Jackie and I were first dating. Needless to say, she was smitten from this time on. Either it was her awe of my daring attitude or her desire to take care that I never do such a thing again. I think, however, that she may be disappointed if it is the latter.
My cousins and I found this amazing sledding spot up past vivian park. It was unused by any other human being...probably because no other humans are stupid enough to hike for two hours up and one down in knee deep (or worse) snow just to sled. But due to that fact the hill is all ours.
On this specific occasion I decided to blaze a new sledding trail and got going faster than I anticipated.

Here is the result.

Blogger apparently HATES the idea of uploading our video, so we'll have to try it again later!

Saturday, February 2

A Monumentous Day

This is my second post of all time, and I think that it is appropriate that it is about a monumentous occurrence. Jackie and I, today, have passed a great milestone in our marriage. Today we created something together that will bind us forever. It is something that years from now we will be able to see and as we smile at each other say, "We made that together." It will age over the years and will become only more special to us day by day. I am sure their will be times that it will frustrate us, and drive us crazy, but in the end it will be a source of peace and joy for us.

Are we ready for it?

I think so.

No.....I know so.

I can't believe that you guys thought that it could be anything other than the fact that Jackie and I made a shoe-rack for our closet today. I was so excited about it that I blogged it. So you know it must be pretty cool. It is a 2.5 x 1.5 x 1 rack made out of scrapwood from Home Depot (and nails from the McNeils) for a grand total of $2.50. We will probably stain it soon, but we really couldn't wait to get it into the closet just to see how it looked. It is awesome. Now we don't have a pile of shoes on the floor of our closet that no matter how many times we organize it it manages to self destruct in a day.